Jokes: Random Thoughts

by: Kingpin

According to today's government the Constitution is like the Bible. It's contents are not to be taken literally, just lessons to live by. Besides, it was written so long ago, how does it apply now?

There's no such thing as the "real world" after graduating from college. The real world is a myth made up by my parents as an excuse to stop giving me money.

Is Toad from Super Mario a mushroom or is he just a midget wearing a weird hat?

I don't like people to know I'm a nice guy because when people know you are nice they start asking you for things.

Life would be more entertaining if everyone had a catch phrase.

I don't care if Michael Jackson molested kids. They're not MY kids. I'm not taking Thriller off my iPod.

I wish there was a way I could argue in court that it was perfectly reasonable to run an annoying driver off the road. If only I was a Kennedy.

There is way too much tension between men and women. I think large-scale make up sex is in order.

Stereotypes can be fun if you stereotype the right people.

I don't know why people made a big deal when Janet Jackson flashed her boob at the Super Bowl. They show big saggy boobs on the Discovery Channel. I guess the double standard is if the boobs are not saggy, keep them off TV. Thank you, FCC.